Queen of the Glamazonian Rainforest, icon of glamour and of our time, and an undisputed gem of humanity en général, Joan Collins is the be-all and end-all. Period. The actress and author, perhaps most famous for her role as super-bitch, Alexis Carrington Colby in Dynasty, is one of the few remaining legends of Hollywood’s golden era.
The source of brilliant quotes, such as “Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine”, Joan’s iconic glamour is matched only by her fiery wit, and her Twitter account, @JoanCollinsOBE is a treasure trove of Collins’ brilliance. Here are some of her best:
She remains flawlessly glamorous in the face of natural disasters:
— Joan Collins (@joancollinsobe) July 2, 2014
Joan posted this meme of herself when her plane was struck by lightning and you just know that while other people were frantically panicking, Joan was the epitome of collected cool. You just know it.
Jackie and I smiling through the earthquake! pic.twitter.com/MXmXFB95OP
— Joan Collins (@joancollinsobe) March 29, 2014
Here’s another hilarious Tweet of Joan’s that is beyond aspirational, in which she and her sister, the equally gorgeous and divine author, Jackie Collins sip cocktails during an earthquake. Your faves could never and you know damn well they couldn’t.
She is the perfect juxtaposition of a grieving widow and a sexy señorita:
The Señorita look for@Vogue Spain September issue , ole ! pic.twitter.com/VWhPPf5FPx
— Joan Collins (@joancollinsobe) June 18, 2014
Joan arriving to your funeral and bringing you back to life through the medium of poignant glamour.
A portrait of Joan in the workplace:
— Joan Collins (@joancollinsobe) May 20, 2014
Just like the rest of us, Joan goes through the daily grind to put bread on the table.
Joan is a constant source of virtual aspiration:
— Joan Collins (@joancollinsobe) April 30, 2014
Encased amongst a mountainous collection of monogrammed Louis Vuitton luggage, Joan’s life may be one of unattainable luxury but she makes you wanna work (bitch!) to get that LV!
Speaking of B.I.T.C.H.:
This is what it REALLY means! pic.twitter.com/TxjWBeXwoh
— Joan Collins (@joancollinsobe) March 15, 2014
She looks fabulous in head-to-toe sequins:
— Joan Collins (@joancollinsobe) May 19, 2014
Joan shines brighter than my future ever could in this exemplary ensemble.
She loves to party and would be THE BEST fun on a night out:
Fabulous party at Nobu to celebrate Sandy & Bryan’s marriage – here with Angelica & Jackie😍 pic.twitter.com/1A4N4qVCa1
— Joan Collins (@joancollinsobe) April 13, 2014
Angelica Huston, Joan and Jackie, shoulder pads, leopard print and a night on the cocktails. THE DREAM. Room for a little one, ladies?
And finally, Miley Cyrus has crafted her career around Joan Collins:
Miley & co not the first to pose with tongue, guess there’s nothing new under the sun ! pic.twitter.com/0tSYBcqXqL
— Joan Collins (@joancollinsobe) September 19, 2013
If Miley has a shred of decency in her over-exposed body, she will send Joan a cheque with backdated royalties.
Follow Joan for more delicious insights into her life: @JoanCollinsOBE!