Holly and I decided to draft a list of our fave things to do in Dublin and the result is a self-styled guide on how to be gas and glam in the city. It’s kind of parodic, but at the same time, we are 109% (our fave percentage) serious. Enjoy x.
We both agree that everyone should absolutely adore themselves, no matter their size, age or shopping budget. Unfortunately, some people do not s’adore (self-adore) themselves and therefore need a gentle reminder that they are fab.
We would not think it out of line to stop a 90-year-old woman on the street, with the sole purpose being to ask where she got her sunglasses (it’s usually Clery’s) and to let her know she looks divine. Likewise, we would not be out of place whispering ‘you deserve…’ to random Brown Thomas shoppers who are looking undecided about a purchase.
One of the best things that ever happened to us was while we were litch roaring compliments at people passing us as we sat at the Powerscourt Steps (more of that below) and a gorge blonde walked passed in a leather trouser and a grey fur coat. ‘OMG you are FAAAB! V Kate Moss’ we roared collectively, only to have said stranger (and now friend) Lisa turn around and shout back ‘I KNOW YOUSE! You’re Jamie and Holly from Twitter!’ Did we not both die, Jamie? (We both died – Jamie)
Lisa (@etchasketchgo) ended up joining us for a drink and we had a gorge laugh – which all three of us, of course, deserved.
We hope we don’t get in trouble for this (Stop, as if we care – Jamie) but our fave spot for Prinks (that’s Pre-Drinks for anyone not in the know – we won’t judge if you needed the explanaysh). It’s kind of comparable to being at the cinema, but you’re sitting on a cold step, and in the absence of popcorn you’re drinking warm Centra wine from a paper cup, and the movie you’re watching is 3D and called ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Naggin’.
We can be found here most Saturday nights during the warmer months of the year (March through to November) and it would not be unusual for us to go through three bottles of white and two boxes of Camel Lights before hitting our preferred dancing spot (see number 3), fully-fuelled for the night ahead. As an FYI, you can slyly use both GBK and Grogan’s bathrooms, but we didn’t tell you that!
With thanks to Superstar DJ Conor Behan a.ka. @platinumjones (he’s there Thursdays and Saturdays FYI – thank us later), and under the watchful guidance of Jamie, I realised at the grand old age of 25 that I can actually dance – and I am actually quite good. (Okay calm down Holly – Jamie)
Personally, I used to hate going out. Before, nights out with the girls involved arguments about where to go, me self-consciously pretending to know how to dance to ‘Maniac 2000’, us defending ourselves from having our arse’s grabbed by strange men and of course, the inevitable alcohol-fuelled fight that would ensue in McDonalds.
Now, in The G, I barely stop for a drink. Calories are burned, friendships are made, and synchronised dances skills are honed while we get down (literally) to the likes of Girls Aloud Medleys (We see you Conor! – Jamie), take Snapchat videos of ourselves screaming and generally just not having a care in the world, except for who Jamie is going to ask for a smoke off when we get outside for a breath of fresh air.
If you know either of us, be it online or IRL (that’s ‘In Real Life’ for anyone who arrived on Planet Earth this morning) you might have some idea of our obsesh with all things celebrity. Despite our 5-year age gap (It’s actually 5 and a half, hun – Jamie) we both have the same life-long love of Victoria Beckham, and of course, we cannot when it comes to Kim Kardashian.
Jamie was the first person I called when Mrs Kardashian West shared my fashion illustration (Illustraysh, Holly – Jamie) on her Instagram – the fact I only knew him two days was completely irrelevant. He also has my Victoria Beckham style bible ‘That Extra Half and Inch’ out on loan. Am not expecting it back any time soon, tbqh.
Something we’ve done since day one of our friensh is compare ourselves to celebrities by tagging each other in their Instagram pics and saying ‘US!’ This had iconic consequences last month when designer Zac Posen replied to us on Instagram.
I think Holly and I make such a gorj duo because there’s little we adore more than ourselves than doing a ‘lil abbreev. I don’t think we’ve ever said a full word to each other since the day we met. You would never catch us saying the full verj of any word that has more than two syllos (that’s an abbreev for syllables, in case you didn’t already cop that). It’s très addictive, so it is. Some of our miutch (mutal) faves are:
- Procrastinaysh (our forte)
- Youge (usual – we know that one may be tricky to grasp)
- Mensh (mention)
Having wine everywhere at any time of the day
So if you follow both Holly and I on Twitter (and it would be v rude if you didn’t), you’ll see that we adore meeting each other every day for a ‘lil and much-deserved coff. Holl would text and me only in the lib for about 5 mins at this stage and I’d up and leave to meet her for said coff. Now what not a lot of people don’t know is that we’d rarely only have a coff, but more often follow it up or indeed replace altogether with a bottle of Sauvignon. (Stop, do we not be Tweeting selfies every two mins with a glass of wine in our hand? – Holly). The daily meeting would youge start with a lap of South William St – if we both think we’re looking fab that day, we will probs do a couple of laps, just to be noticed and idolized (we’re only half joking, btw) and then settle for a bottle or three in Metro Café or else Meat & Meet. Deserved and required at 1 o’clock of a Tuesday.
I am not joking, but I nevz had a Charlie’s before meeting Holl. A chicken ball had never passed my lips before meeting her, but now it’s a tradish for us both to end our night with a gorj 3-in-1, a large porsh of chicken balls and two cans of Coke (Diet for Holl, full-fat for me). We’d race out of the G the min the lights come on, Holl would place the order, I’d run to get cash from the ATM and by the time I’d come back, the order would be ready and we’d sit down and adore both it and ourselves. It’s at this point that we need to give a shoutout to our miutch partner-in-wine, @stphnmlny, who is youge present for the feast. We do be roaring and screaming at each other, loving our lives, up to our eyes in curry sauce.
Brown Thomas and Fallon & Byrne for selfies
It doesn’t take a wild stretch of the imaginaysh to imaj that we both adore a ‘lil selfie and we think it’s v important to know your angles. But knowing your angles is futile if you don’t have a gorj backdrop. Our two fave places to selfie are Brown Thomas and Fallon & Byrne. We love roaming around BTs, trying on clothes that we’ve no intentch of buying and taking selfies of ourselves in said clothes. Likewise, we regularly stroll into Fallon & Byrne just to take pics of ourselves with a €15 bag of pasta just to create the illouge (illusion) that we can be affordin’. Although, Holly often does purch a sliver of cheese and a rasher for about a tenner so she can cook herself and the BF a gorj dinner. Is she wrong? (I’m DEAD RIGHT – Holly).
And finally – our joint fave thing to do is to fish for compliments for about 4 mins every time we meet each other
Practically a day goes by where we wouldn’t see each other and the other day, we both realised the extent of our s’adoring and vanity when we met and just asked each other how fab we were looking until we starting howling at the our #notions. An examp of the type of convo we’d have on greeting each other would be:
Holly: Heyyyyyyy. Is my hair fab today? I gave it a wash.
Me: Stop, it’s gorj. Do you adore my new jumper?
Holly: Divine. Are you obsessed with my new knee-length boots? You are!
Me: Adore. Am I showing enough ank (ankle) today, or do I need to do another roll-up?
And it goes on and on until we get a big fat grip for ourselves.
If anyone would like to join us for a glass of vino, you know where to find us and we would adore. Stay tuned for our next post as we are going to make this a regular feetch (feature, obvs).