Music, Showbiz

Why Una Healy is the best Saturday

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By Jamie Tuohy

As usual, my study procrastination is manifesting itself through the medium of pop culture blog posts. This time on the gloriously Irish Una Healy, member of (finally) chart-topping girlband, The Saturdays.

She goes to LA and becomes x10 more Irish and hilarious

UNA BACK

While all the other girls express how hot the Los Angeles heat is, Una butts in with one of the most iconic lines of the entire Chasing the Saturdays series. She says to the rest of The Sats, “Jesus, it’s roaaaaastin’ here, my back is drippin’!” Amazing. You can take the girl out of Tipperary etc…

This video

If ever there was a gift, this is it! I shouldn’t spoil the ingenuity of this video with unnecessary words or insignificant observations. Just watch it and let Una Healy entrance you with all the BillyBarryStageSchool exaggeration that we’ve come to love her for.

This video at 3.30, 3.45, 4.44 and again at 6.01

“They quoted me saying I’d cellulite on my boobs. Even if I was 20 stone, I wouldn’t have cellulite on my boobs!”

“It’s so hot in there, I’M SWEATING LIKE A PIG!”

“I had to give myself a forward wedgie. But I was wearing French knickers.”

Mollie (on The Saturdays having to draw a sketch of a naked man): “The downstairs department was out!”

Una (eating a salt and vinegar Walker’s crisp): “And I got GREEEAT attention to detail on that part!”

Her accent

MAR

The only accent more distinct and iconic than Una’s is Nadine’s but Una’s accent contrasts so beautifully and hilariously with whatever setting she’s in. Whether she’s in LA talking to Rochelle about Maaaaaaaaarvin, or talking about the weather, Una’s deliciously-pronounced Irish accent is all you need in life.

She actually has the perfect family

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aww

una aoife

chris

Not a word needed.

Her parents

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John and Anne. They just look like GAS CRAIC!

Her reaction to Ben’s stripping at his stag

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Una’s husband Ben made headlines when he stripped at his stag, but Una just brushed it off and said (it’s necessary to imagine this in her accent and with her exaggeration):

“He’s an eejt like. It’s just what lads do. With a few drinks down ‘em, they think they’re great so they do.” So Irish.

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Music, Reviews, Showbiz

My favourite awful pop songs (that are really just guilty pleasures)

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By Jamie Tuohy

I have a confession to make, this post is billing itself as my favourite AWFUL pop songs, but in reality, these are probably my favourite songs full stop. However, for the purposes of self-preservation (which now seems rather pointless in the face of my revelation) and the feigning of any proper musical taste, I’ve decided to compile a list of the best 5 pop icons flops. From Kim Kardashian to Paris Hilton, sometimes songs are so dreadful that you have to look beyond the ear-ache-inducing clamour and just accept that they are simply genius and iconic.

Jam (Turn It Up) – Kim Kardashian

Not that I am in the business of likening Kim Kardashian’s musical efforts to significant events in Irish history, but when W.B. Yeats wrote of the Irish 1916 Rising that “a terrible beauty is born”, it seems a rather fitting description of Kim Kardashian’s hilarious attempt at singing. Sorry Willy. “I’m goin’ out tonight, it’s goin’ down, headin’ straight to the front of the line”, she mutters in the most deliciously monotone and uninterested voice you’ve ever heard. Watch the above video and try not to acknowledge how monstrously glorious this song really is. Thank you so much Kimberley, this really is a gift.

Stars are Blind – Paris Hilton

Ah, Paris. I remember the day the video for Stars are Blind premiered on MTV way back in 2006. I was 12 and on holidays in Bulgaria with my family. Of course, the only thing on my mind that day was how exactly I was going to see Paris’ debut. So, cunningly, as my family lounged by the pool, I suddenly came over all dizzy and clenched my stomach for dramatic effect. When my mother suggested I go to bed back in the apartment for a few hours, I reluctantly agreed and selflessly told everyone to stay by the pool. “I’ll be fine, I’ll just sleep it off.” Muahahahaha, you fools! As soon as I glided through the door and made some popcorn, I danced forebodingly around the apartment waiting for Paris to come on and wow me with her vocals. And wow me she did. Paris, you were my guilty pleasure in 2006 and in 2013, nothing has changed.

This Groove – Victoria Beckham

2003 marked a pivotal year for the Beckhams and indeed for me. As David signed his deal with Real Madrid, Victoria decided to head back into the studio and this was the beginning of my obsession with them. It was the kind of obsession that makes Directioners and Beliebers look sane. These were the days when Victoria’s D&G obsession was at its height and diamond-encrusted Jacob & Co. watches were synonymous with Posh ‘n’ Becks. When they released their Real Beckhams DVD, detailing David’s move to Spain and Victoria’s vocal exploits, it became a type of Bible for me. The Gospel according to the Beckhams was punctuated by the chimes of Victoria and This Groove is one of my favourites. Ah, it takes me back.

Let Your Head Go – Victoria Beckham *Amazing video alert, just sayin’*

Yes, I know, Victoria gets to appear twice, but I’m not going to lie; I’d fill this post up with her albums if I could. Let Your Head Go was released as a double-A side with This Groove and it’s probably one of Victoria’s best. I don’t mean to fill this paragraph with superlatives, but the video is mind-blowingly brilliant. It sees Victoria playing an exaggerated version of herself, where she tears up clothes and flowers, has nightmares where she sees her head on a crow, as she edges closer to a coveted OBE (remember David had just received one in 2003) and we get to see her being taken away by psychologists as she descends into an imagined madness. Hamlet say whaaah? If you watch one video from this post, make it Let Your Head Go. It will change your life. If you’re unwilling to watch it all (ARE YOU CRAZY??!), then skip to the end, where you can see Victoria sitting on a throne, polishing her crown. And that’s not a euphemism. How amazing is she?!

Insatiable – (KWEEN) Nadine Coyle

Okay, we all know how I feel about Nadine and I’m sure nobody thinks that I truly believe this song is awful or a guilty pleasure. I obviously adore this woman and think she’s flawlessly gifted, but I’m told this song is a dreadful flop (ugh, peasants), so it seems appropriate to include Insatiable as the final tune in this list. Nadine’s ‘exclusive retailing deal with Tesco’ failed to set the charts alight and Insatiable didn’t have the same industry impact as Cheryl’s debut song Fight for This Love did. But, bless, you have to love Nadine for trying. Apparently she recorded most of this song in her bathroom because ‘theeee acooosticks wur beytur’ and surprisingly you can’t even hear the sound of a toilet flushing in the background. Hair flicking, dodgy accents and mediocre marketing: it’s all perfection. Love you long time Nadine.

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Music, Showbiz

The Unyielding Perfection of Girls Aloud

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Jamie Tuohy

As thousands of red and white feathers descended from the roof of Dublin’s O2 arena on Saturday night (March 16th), Girls Aloud belted out The Promise to a 14,000-strong encore. Nicola, Cheryl, Nadine, Kimberley and Sarah were in town for the Irish date of their Ten tour and as they gave it their all on stage, shimmering in figure-hugging Jessica Rabbit-style gowns, amidst the floating feathers and glitter was an obvious sense of nostalgia and sadness. It was probably one of the last times that these five women would be on stage as Girls Aloud again. Loathe me to say it, but the Ten tour, which was packed from start to finish with crowd-pleasing hits had all the hallmarks of a farewell concert. ticket

Making their way to the stage by descending from the roof, the iconic chimes of Sound of the Underground kicked off proceedings and Nadine’s transatlantic brogue was out in all its fabulous form from the concert’s outset. Split into four acts, the girls revelled in the camp pageantry, as they donned embellished leotards, elaborate feathered headpieces and finally show-stopping ball gowns. The crowd erupted into hysteria and I felt like I was watching my destiny being played out on stage – caught somewhere between the ingenious self-interest of Nadine, the nonchalance of Sarah and the perfection of Cheryl.

The girls sang all their hits – Love Machine, Jump, Biology, Can’t Speak French, and Call the Shots to name but a few, and it wasn’t hard to see that they were having the time of their lives – particularly Nadine, who exaggerated every move and lyric to impeccable faultlessness. I couldn’t help but worship her.

As Cheryl and Co. held hands for the encore, a montage of the girls was projected onto a screen and they sang Stand by You. It was sublime, but it felt like this was them saying goodbye to the end of an era – they were looking back on the last ten years with fondness, but these girls are now women and it’s time to spread those deliciously-OTT pink wings. It was emotional to say the least.

goodbye

Whatever happens to Girls Aloud after their Ten tour, they have immortalised themselves in musical history. I’m totally unbiased and this is a wholly objective review. (And if you believe that, you’ll believe that Nadine was born on the 15/6/85, making her a Gemini).

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Music, Showbiz, Television

X Factor Drama: Rough Copy out, Times Red and Union J back in | Jamie Tuohy

Axing, shake-ups and new band member additions. Welcome to the world of the X Factor.

Yes, the TV talent show has been given shake-up, after Rough Copy were booted out of the competition and Triple J and Times Red have been offered a place at judges’ houses instead of them.

Rough Times: Rough Copy have been booted out

It seems all very fixed complicated, doesn’t it? Well here’s what happened.

Rough Copy, who made it to Louis’ judges’ house were axed from the competition when it emerged that one of the band’s members, Kazeem Ajobe, 23, had left it too late to apply for a Visa and risked deportation. Ajobe, who was born in Nigeria, but now lives in South London, was told that he and his band members would have to leave the competition immediately. Gamu-gate much?

The new Triple J: George Shelley joins Triple J, to be renamed, Union J

New member: George Shelley

Rough Copy were firm favourites and Louis said that because they were so strong as a band, he needs two bands to replace them.

Taking Rough Copy’s place in Vegas for Louis’ judges’ houses segment, will be Triple J, who, originally, narrowly missed out on a place in Vegas on Saturday’s show.

However, the drama doesn’t end there, as it has emerged that Triple J, will now be called Union J, as they invited soloist George Shelley to join their group. (In a bid to become the new One Direction, no doubt!)

Second chance: Times Red are back in the competition

Times Red, who also failed to make it to Vegas will join Union J and the five other acts to battle it out for one of the four coveted spots in the live shows. The Abercrombie models said they were “delighted” to be given a second chance, and they will be doing everything in their power to impress Louis Walsh.

Speaking about the shake-up, Louis said,

“I asked Gary, Nicole and Tulisa if they minded if I took a seventh act.”

“They were happy as they felt they’d got the right six acts for their Judges’ Houses trips so I asked Times Red to come along and they said yes.”

Looks like the search for the next One Direction big  X Factor  boy band is on!

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Music, Showbiz

Olly Murs records new video in LA | Jamie Tuohy

Olly Murs has been busy Stateside, filming the video for his upcoming single, Troublemaker and he was seen getting very cosy with his dancer, in trousers that looked a few sizes too small!

The photos of Olly leave very little to the imagination, as the singer and Xtra Factor singer is virtually bursting out of his retro outfit. And while his super-tight clothing might be a little uncomfortable, the same could not be said about Olly’s relationship with his Kate Beckinsale-lookalike dancer.

Olly was seen kissing the gorgeous brunette on the set of his new video in Los Angeles, but alas, it was purely for the promotional pics.

Troublemaker is Olly’s debut single from his forthcoming third album, Right Place, Right Time and the track, which features American rapper Flo Rida, promises to be “an incredibly catchy, pure pop anthem.”

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Music, Showbiz

One Direction premiere new video | Jamie Tuohy

One Direction have brought forward the video release of their new single Live While We’re Young after the song leaked online.

The song, which is taken from their upcoming second album, Take Me Home is available to buy on September 28 and has already become the fastest-selling pre-order in iTunes history.

Ahead of this evening’s video release, the boys said,
“We wanted our fans to see the video and hear the single in the proper way so we’ve moved the premiere to tonight.”
“We’re really excited about Live While We’re Young, we’ve worked really hard on it and we can’t wait for everyone to see and hear it later today!”

Watch the video below:

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Music, Showbiz, Television

Olly Murs becomes a millionaire | Jamie Tuohy

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Olly Murs is officially a millionaire.

According to accounts filed for the end of last year on behalf of his company, Stanley Entertainment, the Dance With Me Tonight singer has made over a million pounds since finishing as runner-up on The X Factor in 2009.

And the good news for Olly is that the accounts don’t take into consideration the cash he has made since December ’11, so they discount the hundreds of thousands he will have raked in from his number 1 album In Case You Didn’t Know and similarly, he will have made another small fortune from his UK and Irish arena tour.

A source close to the singer said, “Olly is a real grafter – he has worked his socks off since he took part in The X Factor.”

“He is constantly juggling working on the Xtra Factor, touring and recording new music, so every penny is hard earned.”

“When I first met him he was working in a call centre on six quid an hour.”

And it looks like the dosh is set to keep on rolling in for the tight-trouser-wearing singer, as his autobiography Happy Days is set to be released in early October and his first single, Troublemaker from his third album, Right Place, Right Time is also impending. And add to that the cash Olly will make from hosting the Xtra Factor and the money earned from his forthcoming second arena tour.

Any chance of a loan Mr Murs?

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